Do Over

The other day one of my friends posted a question to her Facebook friends that said something like this, "if you could go back and change something about your past or you could undo something you did would you?" When I read this of course my brain starts flashing back to some of the stupid things I've done in my life. Yes I am not perfect and at times I decided it was easier to give up what I knew was right and went down a scary path. I am not proud of the choices I made back than. I've told myself a ton of times I wish I never would of done this or done that. 

As I've pondered on this question for a couple of weeks now, maybe even beat myself up a little because I really can't believe I was that stupid, I've started to grow a different opinion. I am who I am today because of the experiences I've been through. I've learned tough lessons I wouldn't of learned and have grown to be more understanding of those that may be going through something similar. I try to see beauty even in ugly times. Because at one point when I really felt the ugliest and worst in my life there were still those that could see my beauty was still there, tucked away. I am forever grateful to those that were examples to me and kept me thinking that I was not who my choices made me think I was. 

Going through the repentance process showed me that the atonement is for everyone. I remember feeling so worthless and so low, one night I laid in bed and I cried and prayed that I could feel even a little bit of love even though I didn't think I deserved it at all. I remember that was one of the hardest longest nights of my life. As I laid there after a while I kept thinking, I'm right I don't deserve to feel that love and peace. I have really screwed up. All of the sudden it started slow and it came over me. A peaceful loving feeling. I have never felt that before. I knew I was loved and I was worth it. Even if I had screwed up. The atonement is real. It's there to help us through those deep dark times. Our slates can me wiped clean and we can be forgiven and are expected to forgive ourselves. He's promised if we keep our end of the deal he will remember them no more. 

So with that in mind, why do we relive and wish we had never done this or that? Yes we all feel foolish for giving in. But that is what we are here for. To mess up, than learn and grow from those mistakes. These mistakes make us who we are today. We just choose who we will become and what we will take from our experiences. 

My Invisible Tiara

Being a mom of 4 boys I know without a shadow of doubt one of the most important things I can teach my children is who they are. I want them to know who they are and where they come from. I know it's a vital factor in them becoming who they will one day be. It will help them to grow and realize that they are important. I want to teach them that if their parents here on earth can love them with their hearts so unconditionally, they can only imagine how much their Father in Heaven loves them. 

If it is so important to me to teach my kids this and remind them as often as I can of their divine potential, than I've decided it's even more important to remind myself just as often.

Being a woman leaves me open to so many reason's to pick myself apart and tell myself why I am not "good enough." I think as we get older for some reason the phrase "I am a child of god" becomes something we teach our children but forget that we too are his children. In Primary they sing it quite often. I know it's a favorite in our house.  

In Young Women's they stand and bear witness, "We are daughter's of our Heavenly Father, who loves us and we love him." Now that we are older it's harder to hear those words we sang in Primary and recited when we were in Young Women's. The world is screaming at us that we are never good enough. If we don't feed our kids this we are bad, if we don't look or dress the part we are not pretty enough, if we are stay at home mom's we are lazy, but if we work outside the home we aren't being a good mom. I am one of those that has beat myself up for not being enough. My house is a mess, my kids eat hot dogs (lots of hot dogs) and I can't get rid of the baby weight. Even though my baby is well over a year old. (I could go on and on.) 

As I was laying in bed trying so hard to fall back asleep, I had this thought. What if we all could wear tiaras? Wouldn't that be awesome? After all we are all Princesses. A princess is a daughter of a King. And that is what we are. Heavenly Father sees us as just that. Have you ever watched a dad look his daughter,with "that look" in his eyes? I picture Heavenly Father giving us that look everyday. Not just when we are looking our best or when we have finally caught up with the laundry for the next 5 minutes. 

I know I need some help in this department. So I have an idea. I know we can't walk around wearing tiaras all day to remind us of who we are, people might get the wrong impression. So when you look in the mirror in the morning pretend your putting on your tiara. Than tell yourself, good morning "Princess."  Than Walk around all day with your head held high, because you are a Daughter of God, you are important and what you do matters. No matter what. Heavenly Father Loves you. If you happen to find yourself feeling like you're not good enough, reach up adjust it, just in case it may have slipped. But move on.  And when you feel that love, make sure you help others see their tiara too. We are all struggling in our own way. Even those we think are the most put together.
Walk Tall, You're a Daughter of God
Words and Music written by Jamie Glenn
If you haven't heard this song before, look it up. It's beautiful.
Walk tall your a daughter, a child of God, be strong- please remember who you are. Try to understand you're part of his great plan. He's closer than you know- reach up, he'll take your hand. 

We now have a 4 year old!

On Novemeber 22, 2009, I walked into the labor and deliver and awkwardly said to the ladies at the desk, "Hi. I'm here for my 10:30 c-section." It was so casual. I felt like I was there for a something as simple as a hair cut. (Lol) 

By 11:35 we were holding our sweet baby boy. 

Ever since than our life has never been the same. This boy brings so much energy, laughter and love into our home. He loves helping me cook, especially cookies. He started preschool this year and his teacher says he's the biggest helper and he's learning so much. 

His favorite thing to do is follow his big brothers around and tries to do what they do. Even if it means following them to their friends house. He's a good big brother to his baby brother. Loves to make him smile. He's very curious and sometimes gets himself into trouble. But he keeps life exciting and entertaining. We love this guy! 

Happy Birthday Manning!! 

His request for his birthday breakfast was birthday pancakes. (With sprinkles) Four little ones and one shaped like a #4. 

Than for dinner homemade pizza. With a candle on the top. 

He didn't want any presents, he only asked for a party with his friends from his class and games at his party. 

His original request for a birthday cake seemed kind of hard for me to pull off, considering he wanted it to light up, growl, have a motion sensor when you walked by that said in a mean voice, "you're at my birthday party eat some cake." I did my best and he got Paw Patrol cupcakes with badges for all his friends. Close enough. Right? 

 He loved his birthday crown from school and wore it all day even when we ran errands. I hope he had a good day. 

Autumn Leaves and Giant Puddles

The boys have been off track and home all day for a week and a half now. It hasn't been that bad, I do enjoy having all my boys home during the day. Don't get me wrong after a while they do have thier moments of constant fighting and crazy abnoxious energy. 

So the other day I thought it would be a good idea to get out and try out the new jogging stroller one of my friends gave me. I told the boys they could run or ride their bikes. I kept taking pictures thinking I'd blog about the beautiful fall leaves and our fun walk. We got half way to our planned turn around spot. I asked Manning to pose for a picture and than he started dancing and trying to pull his pants down. Unsuccessful right there and than a puddle began to form at his feet.... and just like that a fun outing turned interesting. I pulled the blanket out of the stroller and wrapped him up and awkwardly put him in. The others cried as I explained to them that we had to go home. Mattix wanted to finish the walk and let him sit in his wet clothes. So our fun walk turned into a few crying kids and a frazzled mom all hurrying home and leaving behind the rather large puddle of pee. 

Oh well...It's the thought that counts. It was a fun 10 minutes. 

Licking his ring pop, sporting his fireman jacket and his awesome birthday crown he got from preschool. Even with soaking wet pants. I love this kid. 

Doggy Pile

It's been raining all day and it's cold outside. No one wants to play outside. I've tried letting the boys out to run off some energy, but it lasted 5 or so minutes. 

So here I sit, it's Daddy's late night at work, I'm done watching lame cheesy Kids show, my baby is grumpy with a fever and the boys are out of control. (As you can see in this picture.) Nights like this make me count down the minutes until daddy comes home. I need bedtime and a Hallmark Christmas movie. Maybe some popcorn and chocolate. 

Happy Friday Night! 

Happy birthday Grandpa

For Grandpa's birthday this year we couldn't decide what to buy him. We brainstormed and decided we'd take him out on a date. So we planned a trip to Cabella's. The boys had fun and I think my dad did too. I love that they got to make memories and spend time with their Grandpa. He's a pretty special guy. We sure love him. 

We saw lots of fish and even got to feed some. Manning was disappointed we couldn't go fishing. 

Grandpa taught Mason a thing or two on the fake shooting range. Like how to aim and hold the gun. He thought that was pretty neat. 

We ended up spending 2 hours there. 

We definitely had a good time. 

Happy Birthday Grandpa! We love you. 

Do fish sleep?

The other night we were getting ready for bed. Part of our routine as new pet owners is to feed the fish and turn off their light. We got it done. I got the boys to bed. Came back into the living room and the light was on again. I turned it off and went to bed. The next morning I got up and the light was already on. I asked the boys if they had already fed the fish. They said no. I commented that the light keeps coming back on. Mattix said "mom fish don't sleep. They probably don't like the dark. We need to keep the light on."

Mason asked me "do fish really not sleep?" Well I have no idea. So we did what any mom in new internet knows everything era, we googled it and found out that, fish rest but don't sleep. Apparently they can't stay still because they move their gills to keep them breathing. But they don't really know if they actually sleep. Kids are full of all sorts of questions. I guess it's a sneaky way of keeping their parents learning too. I'm constantly having to look stuff up to find the answers to their questions.  

Simple Reminders

I woke up this morning in a fairly grumpy mood. Matt hurt his back the other day and just wasn't feeling good. We both agreed that maybe if he stayed home and took it easy, it might help him feel a bit better in time, to go to work tomorrow. Sundays are usually crazy and stressful. For some reason it seems to be the toughest day of the week. With Matt down for the count, I wasn't to excited to fly solo. Getting everyone ready and taking them all to church. Matt and I were recently called to team teach Mattix's class. (5-6 yr. olds) I made the mistake of procrastinating my lesson and was kind of dreading teaching. Well with all this negativity floating around in my head, for some reason I just felt like staying home and being lazy. I even found myself asking why do I have to have a Sunday calling? 

The boys were excited to go, which made going easier. Plus I didn't want to let my class down. We pulled into the parking lot and I knew we were a little early for primary. (We had already missed sacrament.) I sat in the car and said a prayer to change my mood. We sat down in sharing time and one of the cute little girls in my class sat down right next to me. With a big smile she hugged me and told me I looked pretty today. She was so happy to see me. She reached into her "purse," and pulled out a page of stickers. She picked out her favorite and put it on my shirt. She patted it and told me, "I am so happy you came to church today. I really wanted to give you a sticker." 

Something as simple as a little sticker and a sweet smiling face brought it all back to perspective. I know I am needed. I have a very important calling. Some may say it's "just Primary." But really it's a BIG calling. Christ taught how important it is to teach the children and show them love. How easy it is to think, oh I'm just a Primary teacher? But really, when you are there and fulfilling your calling, you are helping to build tiny testimonies and one day those tiny testimonies will be missionaries, moms, dads, Relief Society Presidents, or even just a Primary Teacher. How important is it for me to be an example and show my class I love them by loving my calling? 

Lay up your Treasures.

As we were reading in the Book Of Mormon the other night, in  Helaman chapter 8, one of the verses kind of sparked a little discussion among the boys and I. It said, "Lay up your treasures in heaven." (That's not an exact quote of the scripture reference. But that phrase stuck out.) Being boys the word TREASURE really excited them. Mason said, "mom what kind of treasure are they talking about?" I think they were all thinking pirates, gold and X marks the spot. I tried to explain to them that treasure isn't always buried chests of silver and gold. But this treasure that they are talking about, is our "heavenly treasures" the things that we can take with us when we pass away. Like our memories, our knowledge, our testimony and our family. I think they kind of understood a little of what I was saying. Maybe they were a little disappointed that the story wasn't going to be about pirate adventures. But it gave me something to think about and ponder on my own.  

I have been sitting on this post for a few days and I thought this was a good time to post this. Everyone is posting about what they are thankful for. This being the season of Thanksgiving. So I thought I would share some of  my most precious Treasures instead. (And sneak in a few of our Family Pics. that we had taken by Captured by AmyLee.)

 I am thankful for big messes. Especially those created by the cutest Master of Disaster I know. 

 Tender Hearts and endless love for each other. My boys sure do love each other. We definitely have built in best friends around here.  

 Our good health and endless amounts of energy. Someone always has enough to go around. If only they could share it with me. But they keep me active and on my toes. 

 My heart has a very special place for this guy. I sure love him. He is my best friend, my biggest support, and the one I want to spend eternity with. He's my favorite everything. And he's pretty dang handsome if I do say so myself. :) 

 The cutest and greatest boys I could ever of asked for. My heart bursts with love for these boys. 

 Chaos... Come what may and love it and learn something along the way. 

 Temple blessings.  I treasure my knowledge of the blessings of the temple and the symbol that Families can be together forever. 

Last but not least I am thankful for my responsibilities to teach my family and learn for myself the important things of life such as gratitude. My life is full of many blessings and I could go on and on and list all my blessings I am blessed with everyday. I am so thankful for the gospel of Jesus Christ. I know my Heavenly Father loves me. I am so thankful for all my treasures in my life. 

My Baby is 1!

Nov. 1, 2012

Nov. 3 2013

Happy birthday little man! 

I've said it before and I will say it again...

We LOVE this little guy!

Halloween 2013

Every year I think, "this year I will make our Halloween costumes." Than every year I run out of time and ambition and end up buying or throwing something together. This year the boys all wanted to be Ninja Turtles. Me being the pinning fool that I am, I thought I could easily make their costumes this year, especially if I start early and plan ahead. This decision came after seeing how much I'd have to pay to buy their costumes X's that by 4. I got to work and started studying the NT's and all the ideas online and I made my own version. I was so excited to see them all put together and done. I hope the boys will look back and remember how cool they were and not remember that their mom made them wear a turkey roasting pan. 

So without further explanation, here they are. My 3 (I'm missing Carter. I didn't get a picture of him. But he was the purple one.) Ninja Turtles and their pet baby turtle. 

Pumpkin Guts and Scary faces

This year was the first year the boys were willing to touch the pumpkin guts and help out. It was actually fun carving pumpkins and not just work for Matt and I. Nana and Papa rolled up their sleeves and were put to work too. We all had a good time. 

I do have to say I think they turned out awesome! 

Carter led the way and when the boys saw him having fun scooping out the slimy guts, they all kind of followed after and grabbed a spoon and got to work. 

The boys kept daring each other to taste the guts. They were all carrying on and we all looked over as Maxton was quietly snacking on his pumpkins goo. The boys got a kick out of it and to be honest they all tasted it. 

From top to bottom, Left to right.

Mason (Nana and I helped Mason with his), Manning (I created that masterpiece), Mattix (Daddy helped him make a Pikachu), Maxton (I made that one too.) and last but not least, Carter (Papa and Carter created that big guy) 

Watch Out!

He's got a sword and knows how to use it. It's the cutest thing to watch. 

Being the youngest of 4 boys you can imagine the things this boy picks up just by watching. Sword fighting being one of them and he loves it! 

He even makes sound effects. It's so awesome. 

Daddy made swords out of some packaging foam that came in a recent package for all the boys and of course Maxton had to have one too. 

Welcome to the family!

I will be the first to admit, that I am not a pet person. We've tried a couple times to have a dog and I found it to be very overwelming. I am by far NOT a rodent person or anything that crawls with claws like lizards or snakes. I've told the boys if it poops or requires food it ain't happening. I don't need another thing in the house that requires poop to be cleaned up and me to worry about and try to remember to feed another mouth, seriously I give myself a high five when I can keep up with the four little people I already call my pets. 

But Matt and I recently reached a compromise and we are happy to announce that we are officially pet owners! It didn't come without a price. The boys had to earn them. I made two jars and filled one up with goldfish crackers. The other was empty. The boys had to fill the empty jar with the fish. They could earn the fish many ways, by being nice to each other, doing special jobs, being polite, or any other reason we felt they earned a fish or two. It took them almost 2 1/2 weeks to fill the jar. Than a couple Saturdays ago we headed to the pet store and picked out our new family members. 

Welcome to the Harris family Shadow, lightning, Marshall, and Shoee. It has been so fun having them. The boys are still in the honeymoon stage and are still fighting over who's turn it is to feed them. I'm sure that won't last. They are cute and I swear they love us. They come up to the glass and get excited to see us. Even Maxton loves to watch them.