I've been experiencing alot of anxiety lately. Maybe because I have so much going on and I feel like I am so tired I am never going to get it all done in time.
My biggest anxiety is going from 2 kids to 3 kids. When I was in the hospital right after I had Mattix (my second baby) I had a nervous breakdown. I was terrified of taking home another child. Can you believe that? How embarassing for me to admit that. I cried for almost 3 hours straight in the middle of the night. The poor nurse assigned to me that night was so great. She sat with me for a couple of hours talking to me and reassuring me that I will be fine.
It didn't hit me until that night, the night before I was planning on going home to start our new life with this new child. But now I am starting the anxiety attack early. I am realizing my body only came equipped with two arms, and so much energy. Oh and our bed is just not big enough for the 5 of us. (We have visitors in the middle of the night.) Our vehicles were perfect for 2 kids now we have to banish one to the very back of the van and get real good at chucking chicken nuggets and fries to the back. What am I going to do when Matt's working and the baby is screaming while I am trying to get the other two to bed? I stay awake at night thinking of a plan.
I have heard of mom's being afraid of "not having enough love to go around." That is not what I am worried about. I am just worried about being a good mom when I am beginning to stretch thinner.
I know I am just being paranoid and it's probably my emotions talking right now. I know I will be ok and eventually I will slip into routine and Baby Manning will be like one of us and it will be like he was here all along. I just needed to get this off my chest. Thank you blog.
Awww, I feel bad. I know it can be crazy when adding to your family, but trust me, you'll do fine. You'll be amazed how your kids will sense your need for help and offer to help you, if not just let them be you little messengers. They will love it! Besides, I think Heavenly Father always blesses us moms with a happy 3rd baby! They really learn fast to wait their turn.
ReplyDeletePS It's okay for them to cry when you put the others to bed (as long as they are okay)! That's how they learn to be patient. That's my thinking anyway.